BEHOLD, THE LORDS OF ALMOST

No team in league history has worn mediocrity like a royal robe quite as proudly as the Consolation Kings. Year after year, they hover just close enough to relevance to make you wonder…only to inevitably trip, fall, and land squarely in the bottom half of the standings. Their kingdom isn’t built on trophies or banners, but on the cobwebbed throne of finishing 7th place. And they’re fine with it - proud even. The Kings have perfected the art of “winning just enough to avoid total embarrassment.” Their crowning achievements include outscoring opponents in meaningless Week 14 games and hoarding consolation titles like they’re crown jewels. If nothing else, they’ve given the league consistency: when you need someone to beat up on, they’re available; when you need someone to take a surprise win off a contender, they’ll trip over one. The Consolation Kings may never rule the fantasy land, but they’ll always reign supreme in disappointment.