KEEP CALM AND COLLAPSE ON

For a franchise whose very name screams calm under pressure, Do Not Panic has spent most of its history doing exactly that - panicking. Draft day often feels more like a fire drill than a strategy session, and mid-season trades can resemble someone yanking wires out of a bomb just to see what happens. Yet somehow, through sheer luck or the occasional flash of competence, Panic occasionally stumbles into respectability. Their highs have been rare but memorable, the kind of games where a random flex scores 30 points and everyone pretends it was part of the plan. Their lows? Let’s just say they’ve written the textbook on scoring 60 points in an era where kickers sometimes get half of that alone. They’ve never truly scared the league, but they’ve always been entertaining - like watching someone juggle knives on a unicycle: you know it won’t end well, but you can’t look away.