A LEGEND IN THEIR OWN MIND

The Golden Tate Warriors have never let results interfere with self-esteem. Known more for delusion than dominance, the Warriors are a masterclass in unearned confidence. They once got banned from library trivia for insisting Megatron signed the Declaration of Independence, filed a formal kicker-weather complaint addressed “To Whom the Weather May Concern,” and rebranded a 3-11 season as a “spiritual sabbatical” complete with sage smudging. In a public park, they delivered a megaphone pep talk to their fantasy roster. Onlookers thought it was a cult meeting. They weren’t wrong. The Golden Tate Warriors may not lift the trophy every season, but they’ll always believe they’re the moral champion - and shout it from rooftops, message boards, and megaphones alike.