Fruit Flies And Fungus

A fantasy baseball season isn’t for the faint of heart - or the weak of Wi-Fi. It’s an unforgiving gauntlet of injuries, slumps, bad bullpen management, and Sunday night heartbreak. Unlike football’s once-a-week chaos, baseball demands constant attention. A manager can dominate for three months, only to watch a Tuesday rainout and a Wednesday blowup inning undo a week’s worth of planning. Streaming starters becomes an art form, while closers vanish like socks in a dryer. And just when you think you've built a juggernaut, your ace hits the IL, your catcher forgets how to hit, and someone named Brenton Doyle drops 28 points on you out of nowhere.

To survive a season like this- let alone contend - is a feat of endurance, judgment, and (let's face it) just enough luck to dodge the disaster your opponent couldn’t. You’re navigating 162-game streaks, not one-off explosions. Injuries stack. Rookies regress. Veterans disappear. And through it all, I've silently watched it unfold, shaking my head as teams celebrate hot Aprils like they mean anything in September. The truth? Fantasy baseball crowns the manager who adapts, not the one who starts fast. It’s a season-long war of attrition, and if you’re still standing in Week 26, you’ve earned every blister, bad beat, and bleary-eyed box score that got you there.

And yet - somehow, some way - two franchises managed to dodge the landmines, swerve the potholes, and shimmy their way into the final showdown. Poke Bananas and Dude It Was Ringworm didn’t just survive the regular season; they gave it a wedgie and took its lunch money. While other teams were crying over strained hamstrings and rehab assignments, these two were duct-taping their rosters together and whispering sweet nothings to their SP3s. Ringworm leaned heavily on a star-studded, boom-or-bust lineup and a rotation built like a buzzsaw, while the Bananas relied on something no one expected to work in 2025: actual depth. They stayed cool when others melted, stayed active when others gave up, and now they’re the only ones left standing - while everyone else is stuck in their group chats, pretending they “don’t even care about fantasy baseball.”

What started with 12 teams and 24 weeks of chaos has come down to the final contest. Rotations crumbled, stars got shelved, and waiver wires were pillaged like post-apocalyptic supermarkets. And now, just two teams remain. One of them is about to hoist the trophy. The other is about to discover what it feels like to come this far…and fall short.

Sagebrush Cactus League World Series

Poke Bananas (27-15) -vs- Dude It Was Ringworm (29-13)

The battle of bananas and blisters begins. Two powerhouse franchises. One last matchup. After 24 grueling weeks of chaos, call-ups, and questionable closer usage, the Sagebrush Cactus League World Series has arrived. Representing the Sagebrush Division are the relentless Poke Bananas, while the mighty Dude It Was Ringworm flies the Cactus Division banner. Both teams have earned their spot, and the stage is set for a two-week brawl that might come down to the final Sunday pitch.

Parasites And Persistence

Dude It Was Ringworm cruised through the regular season, leading the Cactus Division wire-to-wire and finishing with a league-best 29-13 record. They were #1 in total points scored, led the league in HRs and RBIs, and consistently overwhelmed opponents with elite two-way performance. Their playoff run was equally impressive: after a first-round bye, they dismantled Whitmer in the Cactus Division Championship, 296-204, securing their ticket to the final.

Poke Bananas, meanwhile, quietly put together a 27-15 campaign, topping the Sagebrush Division. Often overlooked despite a top-five offense, they won games with consistency, balance, and timely surges. In the postseason, they survived a thriller against Akes and Pain (287-281), sneaking into the final by the slimmest of margins.

The only head-to-head clash between these two came in Week 9, with Dude It Was Ringworm taking the win 304–258. That margin was larger than it looked - Bananas were missing key production, and the Ringworm bats exploded for 8 HRs and 21 RBIs behind big weeks from Judge, Raleigh, and Manny Machado. With production like that, Ringworm had all the run support they needed to back up an excellent pitching rotation that finished with 4 Ws, 6 QSs, and 58 Ks.

Skubal's 63 pts in Week 9 was more than the Bananas could handle.

The Stars Come Out

For Dude It Was Ringworm, everything begins with the bash brothers: Aaron Judge and Juan Soto. With a combined 81 home runs and 190 RBIs between them, the two sluggers have anchored the top of the lineup all season. Their ability to draw walks and rack up extra-base hits gives Ringworm a stable scoring floor most teams simply can’t replicate. Judge (581 points) and Soto (578) don’t just hit - they overwhelm.

Oh, and did I mention they also have Cal Raleigh who added 53 HRs, 113 RBIs, and 534 points to their lineup?

On the mound, Tarik Skubal has been nothing short of dominant. His 222 strikeouts lead the Sagebrush Cactus League, and he’s posted a league-best 666 points, averaging nearly 24 fantasy points per start. Jacob deGrom and Kevin Gausman round out a front-end rotation that can torch opponents, while Clay Holmes (334 points) out of the bullpen provides a dependable late-inning insurance policy.

Still, Ringworm isn’t without vulnerability. Injuries to Corey Seager and Jonathan India have exposed some cracks in the infield. Should Zach Neto or Jackson Merrill struggle under pressure, depth could become a real concern.

Meanwhile, Poke Bananas brings a different kind of thunder. Speedsters CJ Abrams and Steven Kwan have quietly posted 150+ runs and over 47 stolen bases between them, adding a disruptive layer to the Bananas' offensive attack. Their ability to manufacture runs complements the power of Nick Kurtz and Salvador Perez, creating a diverse lineup capable of adapting to any pitching staff.

Abrams hopes to score more than the 9 pts he totaled against Ringworm earlier this season.

On the mound, Max Fried (537 points) has been a workhorse and sets the tone for a resilient rotation, with Sonny Gray (449 points) performing at a Cy Young level down the stretch. The bullpen, led by flame-throwing closer Andres Muñoz (32 saves), could be the team’s X-factor...especially if the series comes down to small margins.

While the Bananas lack a marquee MVP candidate, their deep, balanced roster has been a problem all year. With seven hitters eclipsing 300 points and four starters with 8+ wins, they don’t just compete - they swarm.

Final Word

You won’t find a clearer contrast in team identities: Dude It Was Ringworm brings star power and swagger, while Poke Bananas play the long game with quietly elite production and relentless depth. One relies on seismic blasts, the other on surgical execution.

The first week will be telling. If Judge, Raleigh and Soto tee off, the Ringworm advantage grows steep. But if the Bananas can steal a few wins from strong SP matchups and cash in on stolen bases and small-ball, things might get slippery.

This series should be a close battle and I wouldn’t be surprised if the top seed finds itself trying to peel out of a banana split by next week.

COMMISH'S PICK: Dude It Was Ringworm

Thanks again for playing this season and good luck in the final round!

-- Commish

p.s. - I'll be finalizing all of the season challenges and sending out invoices within the next few days so keep your eye out for those...especially if you're out of the running for any prize money.