Week 1 Is A Liar
- Commish
- Sep 10
- 4 min read
Updated: Sep 16
It can be like a siren's call luring foolish fantasy managers to crown legends based on practice-sized sample plays and tragic bench decisions. Let me be the first to remind you - the only thing reliable about Week 1 is how unreliable it is. Fantasy football’s first act is almost always full of flukes, breakout screens, and indicators about as permanent as a tweet. Don’t base your season timeline on one weekend’s chaos.
Week 1 always gives us a few fantasy lightning bolts, and this year was no different. Rookie wideout Emeka Egbuka exploded onto the scene with 18 points off a pair of TDs and 67 yds receiving to help boost Who Is You's bench score. It might be a fluke - or it might be the start of something terrifying for the rest of you whenever you play You. I guess we'll find out when You rolls him out in their starting lineup next week.
Baby Got Dak's Justin Fields finally decided to play like the fantasy fever dream he's been sold as for the past two seasons, steamrolling his way to 21 fantasy points and two rushing touchdowns. This is the version of Fields owners have been dreaming about, and for one glorious weekend, he actually lived up to the hype. Will it last? Probably not. But for one fleeting, glorious Sunday, Fields actually looked like the cheat code he was drafted to be.
On the other side of the spectrum, Joe Burrow showed up with all the energy of a Monday morning staff meeting. A meager 10 points and a painfully slow start likely had the Consolation Kings coaches asking “is he broken?” Then again, maybe that was the Kings' strategy all along. After all, Week 1 gave us one of the worst games we've ever seen from the Warrior's Ja'Marr Chase.
And then there was Tyreek Hill, who managed just 40 receiving yards on four catches netting him 4 whole points for Cerebral Ballsy. Whether it was rust, a bad matchup, or simply a quiet week, it was a reminder that even the fastest man on turf can trip on expectations. I know this season's projections for Hill are muted compared to previous sesasons, but c'mon.
If you need further proof just how difficult it is to predict anything in Week 1, look no further than some of my Commish's Picks. Or don't. I might prefer you didn't.
The Fat Cats were supposed to blowout Badazz Bri in the Blackout Game of the Week. Instead, they won by two. And, frankly, they were lucky they weren't declawed after Josh Allen's outstanding performance against the Ravens on Sunday night. They're already down to 8 lives.
One of my upset picks - Deez Nuts to beat Gotham Rogues - was anything but. In fact, the Rogues put belt to ass and won by the largest margin of the week, 56 pts. Like Jalen Carter, Deez Nuts were done before the game even started.
If your team looked like a dumpster fire this weekend, it’s not time to hit the panic button - yet. The first week is not much more than a hangover after draft night. Bleeding your lineup dry for a quick fix? Don’t. Let the waiver wire be your salve, not your undoing. Use early injuries and targets as your carrot, your weapon, your team’s reboot.
To those who shrugged the competition aside with bold Week‑1 scores - chill out. You’re undefeated…for about 90 minutes. Regression is a beast, injuries are lurking, and the fantasy gods are not afraid to pull the car over and deal with anyone who flexes too hard. So celebrate quietly, stay humble, and most importantly - don't gloat too loudly in the group chat where there are receipts. You’re not safe yet.
No matter what happened with your team last week, don't believe it.
Good luck in week 2!
Commish
Golden Ticket
Cerebral Ballsy and Uncle Bucky may not be able to draft winning fantasy teams, but they were able to assemble quality Golden Ticket rosters. Ballsy led all entrants with 168 points from their all-star team in Week 1, but Bucky is on their tail with 161 from their elite squad.
You would think experience in this contest would matter until you look to find the oldest dogs in our league - Perros, Warriors, and You - at the bottom of the standings.
Pigskin Pick'Em
The Golden Tate Warriors jumped out in front with 14 correct picks last week, followed by MaxxCasualties, Baby Got Dak, and Do Not Panic with 13. Los Perros Locos finished in the dog house with just 9 correct picks.
Eliminator Challenge
Nothing captures the craziness of Week 1 like the fact that every owner survived the first round of our Eliminator Challenge. Well done. Don't get too comfortable.
Survivor Challenge
No Week 1 is complete without an early Survivor Challenge exit by Badazz Bri. Done. With only 70 points last week, Bri will comfort Deez Nuts who were also eliminated with the lowest score of the week, 47 points. Immunity for the first week goes to Pork Chop Express who led the league with 143 points.
Power Rankings
Our pre-season leaders - Pork Chops and Who Is You - both reinforced why they were the early favorites in our Power Rankings. But remember, these rankings are extremely volatile during the first few weeks, so one slip up could see them fall.
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